I recently watched a documentary series on Channel NewsAsia, “Facing Death”. It talks about the challenges critically ill patients and their caregivers face.
I could very much relate to all the stories mentioned. I saw shadows of myself within the show.
However one thing struck me the most. A consultant from Dover hospice said in her interview they need to let patients know they can feel sad, they have a right to do that. We try so hard to fight for happiness everyday, but have we forgotten sadness belongs to the other side of the coin. Everyone is trying hard to construct the ideal world of “happiness”, but what does it really mean to be happy? In the ideal world, we were told to share happiness, never sadness because it will make us look weak. Often we hear people say “never be judgemental”, but unfortunately we all start forming images in our heads with every little bit of information. We size people up. Unfortunately, it will never be a complete picture because we will never know the complete picture. It’s not about looking beyond what is apparent, it’s about moving beyond the apparent. (On a side note, recent campaign by MCI is about not being judgemental. I personally think it’s a meaningful campaign, and I hope it achieve good results in reminding people to have more empathy. You can look at the series of videos on their Facebook and YouTube page ➡gov. sg)
We watched the movie “Inside out”. We talked about sadness, we admired him. But has it really changed our lives?
It is sad to think that we have to deliberately remind ourselves it is okay for one to feel sad. There is always a cycle to everything in life, and they go up and down. Nothing will stay up there forever. Did the pursuit of “a happy world” made us lose the sense of empathy?
The best way to connect with people is to show empathy. And empathy is shown by accepting and acknowledging people for who they are. It can be as simple as telling someone “it’s okay, you can be unhappy.”
Life is an uphill. I walked. I climbed. I stumbled and fell. Covered in bruises, cut and bled.
I continue to walk, with injuries. Limping sometimes, but I try to move whatever inch I can. Remember the times you injure your knee, and you try to take the stairs with an abrasion.
It’s a long road ahead with no end. I can’t change the path I took in the past. No magical eraser can do that. I will continue to move forward.
I missed a step recently. I may be in pain recently, but I will survive.
Call me the badass.
It’s been a while since I last met my buddy. It’s always a discovery process to talk to her, I will learn more about myself through our conversations. And the following quote is the conclusion of our meeting today:
If you find yourself stagnant, maybe it’s time to take the leap. Embrace the certainty of uncertainty.
The choice we make today, affects our tomorrow. If we want a better future, we need to work on it today.
You want to go to the Maldives for a holiday, you have to start saving now.
You want to lose weight, you have to stop snacking today.
You want to have a healthier lifestyle, you have to stop smoking now.
You want to become an author and publish a book, you have to start writing now.
Someone asked me today, why am I making myself so busy, killing all my weekends with lessons, readings and assignments, on top of a full time job. (FYI: This is for short term. It will be over in a couple of weeks.)
Because I am preparing for my tomorrow, a better tomorrow.
I’ve stopped buying pocket tissues from shops for a long time. It was a conscious decision.
These tissue papers you see above are from one person- an uncle in wheelchair in Middle Road. He’s the same person I chose to “buy” tissue paper from in my earlier post in 2014.
There should be more. I’ve used some of them, and many times I see the uncle sleeping, so I just left the money on the tray and left.
It’s not only this uncle who is doing this “business”. There are so many others, and not just in Middle Road.
Most of them are old, on wheelchairs, and some are handicapped. What can we do to help them? How much can they earn by selling 3 packets of tissues for $1? (Maybe $2, I don’t know for sure, because I always give at least $5.)
I mentioned this to a friend, I want to do more to help them. How many packets of tissue papers do we need? How fast do we consume them?
My heart aches, especially when I see the elderly, and they are all alone without family to take care of them. These folks remind me of my grandparents. I love my grandparents dearly, and I did anything I could in the past to protect them when they were still around. This explains why I cringe each time I see old folks who are alone, and suffer just to earn some money to survive.
I have been thinking, what can I/we do to help these people who needs help? It’s obvious selling tissue papers won’t get them enough money for living expenses and medical bills.
I keep these packets as a constant reminder of how lucky I am. The collection will only grow. I get them faster then my consumption.
I will continue to #Stopbuyingtissues from the stores, and think of how I can help all of them better, not just one uncle.
I watched the documentary movie “I hugged the Berlin Patient” today, by Edgar Tang. The movie was produced in 2013, and I’ve only watched it today.
I came across the movie on iTunes. Googled about the movie, and found it interesting enough to buy it to watch on my iPad.
The Berlin Patient- who is he?
He is Timothy Ray Brown, the first person in the world to be cured of HIV and Leukemia with a stem cell transplant.
Edgar Tang had a dream, a crazy one. Without much details, he went to Berlin in search of leads for interviews. Very inspiring spirits. I can sense his passion, especially having been in the TV/broadcast industry for 6 years, I know how difficult/easy it can be to get a show out. Sometimes you are lucky, sometimes you wished lady luck is on your side. Unpredictable.
I found it so relatable also because Tim recovered from Leukemia. Though not the first man to be cured of Leukamia, but he had relapses after 2 transplants. No one says with a transplant, you definitely will have a clean bill of health. Edgar, he is a cancer survivor, he had lymphoma.
Each time I come across any blood disorder or leukemia profiles, I get overwhelmed with emotions. I lost 2 very important people in my life to Leukemia, 2 warriors. First it was Queena- a good friend who made a big difference in my secondary school life, then it was Melvin, my dearest baby brother.
The movie “I hugged the Berlin Patient” has an interesting narrative. It wasn’t as simply as Edgar telling his adventure and Tim’s story on camera. I don’t want to be a spoiler and share the details. Edgar’s effort deserves to be watched and appreciated.
To be honest, I didn’t think I would be so touched by the show.
I have a habit, to write to people to tell them how I feel about their product (be it a book, blog post etc), even when I don’t know them. So I went online to search for possible ways to contact Edgar. I found him on LinkedIn, and given my premium account, I can write InMails to people who are not my contacts. So I wrote to him to thank him for the awesome show. I don’t expect a reply from Edgar, though it will be nice to have one.
This show will not let you understand the pain of a cancer patient. But you will see how hard the patients fight for a way to recover, but how difficult it is in reality. Even when you do recover, the very toxic chemotherapy leaves you with nasty side effects that you have to live with for the rest of your life.
I strongly encourage you to watch it. Especially if you do not know who is “The Berlin Patient”.
Your worth is not determined by others. You are worth based on who you are. You don’t live life in pain or happiness based on the scores other people give. People may view you with imperfections, but don’t let it get to you. Take the feedback constructively.
There’s no need to punish yourself with unhappiness or anger experienced by others. It belongs to them, not you. Instead, create happiness so that you can share to cheer unhappy people up.
Perfection, imperfection, all so relative. We all know milk is good for healthy bones growth, but it’s toxic to those lactose intolerant. It’s the same logic.
Yes everyone is different. But everyone deserves to be master of their own life and destiny.